Dick Cheney reviews Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon

Posted in Uncategorized by rfslack on July 2, 2010

Darkness at Noon is everything I want in a book. And by that I mean that a whole lot of commies die, including the story’s main character, Nicolas Rubashov, who had once been a leader in a communist revolution in a country that looks a whole like the Soviet Union. Rubashov was imprisoned and forced to confess to bogus crimes as part of a communist purge.

As a freedom-loving American, I defy you not to stand up from in recliner and cheer when this communist-intellectual-liberal meets his demise. Hey, comrade, you brought it all on yourself when you decided to overthrow the rightful government of the Tsar.

Darkness at Noon is a book about a loss of freedoms. Late in the book, Rubashov is subjected to perfectly reasonable enhanced interrogation techniques (a bit of a whitewash, if you ask me—the commies did a lot more than prevent people from sleeping and turn the lamps up high) by a commie-goon apparatchik named Gletkin. Gletkin is a man of few words. He is efficient and to the point. His head is shaved and marked with a scar. I rather liked him actually. Gets things done, you know? Had his mind not been poisoned by revolutionary nonsense– that is, had he been American–he could have gone far in my party, the Republican party.

Anyway, the big commies are trying to frame the little commie, Rubashov, who had once been a hero of of the Revolution, because of “political divergencies.” Gletkin accuses Rubashov of seven “crimes against the people,” including poorly managing an aluminum trust and creating defective aluminum. This is exactly the kind of crap the libs tried to pull with me because I once ran Halliburton! I can hear those smug little liberals whining about “war profiteering” and “no bid contracts.” This book did a great job showing that all those complaints were basically commie-type stuff.

But back to Gletkin. Most reviewers–the so-called intelligentsia, naturally–consider Rubashov the book’s main character just because he’s on every damn page. But it’s Gletkin who really steals the show! He shows that, beneath the commie brain washing, he is basically a man of common sense. For instance, these are Gletkin’s wise words about how to get information out of terrorists:

…the [terrorist peasant woman] had been kept waiting on her feet the whole night was due to the carelessness of my sergeant; from then onwards I encouraged carelessness of that kind; stubborn cases and to stand upright on one spot for as long as forty-eight hours…”

Had we had a few more Gletkin’s on our side in Iraq (not to mention Congress and the media) the war would have been won quickly and painlessly, just like I predicted.


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